Last week I was working with one of my small business clients, a bright and dynamic woman whos passionate about positioning her artisan business for growth. We were talking about her financial picture and forecasting robust sales over the next three years.

As I coached her, she expressed excitement and eagerness to see her dreams turn into reality, yet somewhere, just below the surface, I sensed subtle resistance on her part to fully imagine the scenario we were painting.

I asked her about what she was feeling. After stopping for a moment to feel into my observation, she tentatively at first, then heartily agreed. Then she got very curious about her seemingly incongruous resistance to success.

Sarah, I asked, What is your rule, about financial success? In other words, what belief do you carry (deep down) about money? It didnt take long for her to respond. Well, she reported, if youre financially successful, it means you have to give up on your values and your integrity.

Wow! By uncovering that one rule, Sarah hit pay dirt. She was now free to clearly see that one disempowering rule she had been carrying her entire life.

Taking a look at the rules that drive your thinking is a very powerful activity to help you grow as a person, especially as a business owner. Another wise client of mine once said, Theres no way to separate who we are from what we do. You can have the most empowered business plans in the world and if your inner life and dialog is disempoweredforget it. Its an up hill battle.

What are your under-the surface rules that run your life and business? To explore, ask yourself: Where are you consistently stuck in your business? What are the things that always hang you up? What are the recurring thoughts or themes you could write the book about?

I invite your willingness to explore. You have only strength and success to gain.

Here are some examples of themes we all know too well:

I cant quite breakthrough to financial success

I default to fear and lack

I always feel overwhelmed and exhausted and out of time

Procrastination is my middle name

I walk up to the edge of a challenge and then back away

I avoid

I would suggest that behind every common theme, you have a rule. For example, if youre like Sarah and you cant breakthrough to financial success, you might have a rule that says, People that make money, sell out. Or, if you are constantly procrastinating, you might have a rule that says, If I succeed, Ill wind up alone. (Maybe you experienced a parent who worked a lot, and was unhappy and you concluded that success = unhappiness).

Explore where your rules came from by asking: When did the rule get created? What were the circumstances? Ask, if you were to change that rule, what would happen? Who would be upset? Who would get hurt or feel betrayed?

Take heart, you created your rules for a good reason. We all create meaning about life from our experiences and then create rules to keep us safe, secure and sane. The problem comes when we neglect to inquire or challenge the current validity of our rules.

You have the ability to move beyond your limited rules by becoming aware of them, disqualifying them, (if they dont serve you), and then by making new rules based on your current reality. I challenge you to give it a try.

As for Sarah, she created a new rule that says she can be financially successful, maintain her values, fulfill her dream and express her passion in the world. Whats YOUR new rule?

Its your lifelive it completely!

Helaine Iris

As a professional Life Coach and founder of Path of Purpose Coaching, Helaine utilizes a broad range of professional experience in business management, training, program development and counseling.

As General Manager of Oasis Tools for Transformation, she spent eight years managing the start up and operation of four retail outlets throughout New England.

In her eight years with an international, non-profit, women?s health organization, she developed and implemented a Health Care Assistant training program encompassing 20 regional branches of the organization. During the same time, she also counseled hundreds of women on proper reproductive health and physical well-being.

Working with best-selling author Byron Katie for 18 months, she helped develop, directed and coordinated events for Katie?s international School for The Work. She also spent two years as a faculty member and mentor coach for Life on Purpose Institute, a coach training organization based in North Carolina.

Helaine received her initial Life Coach certification from Life on Purpose Institute in 2002, and she continues to expand her skills as a student in Coachville?s Schools of Coaching. She holds a BA in psychology from Roger Williams College, and she has received certifications as a Mediator, a Transformational Breath facilitator and a facilitator of Byron Katie?s ?The Work.?

A respected writer, Helaine has been featured widely on numerous websites and online newsletters, as well as traditional print publications, including The Oprah Magazine.

An active member of the business community, Helaine serves as President of the Keene chapter of BNI (Business Networking International). She also serves on the board of HGM Development Inc, a local business development organization supporting small business owners throughout New Hampshire.

Helaine is married and has two grown children. From her home in Keene, New Hampshire, she enjoys gardening, cooking, practicing Pilates, building a thriving business and maintaining deep and meaningful friendships. She loves her life and awakens each day excited to make the world a better place, one person at a time.