First you should get yourself a yarmulke already. This skull cap will indicate to your new in-laws that you respect their values and hat style preferences. Dont wear it until you need it, just have it. Next; get a haircut! Increase your vocabulary; learn terms like gefilte fish, matzoh ball, knish, gevalt, shmendrick (you might be called one), schnorrer, shiksa, goyisha kop, Nate n Als, The Borscht Belt, piroshki and more. More words you want? You could find them at: juf.org/jewish_identity/ji_gloss.asp If you are going to get married under a hoopah, practice smashing a shot glass with your foot. Good to wear a heavy boot on your smashing foot. It wont be long before you are invited (required to go) to a bar or bat mitzvah. Bring money. The food will be worth it. You will hear a speech about responsibility and tradition. Agree with everything in the speech. Learn to sing Hava Nageela and dance the hora. Its easy. Beware of Aunt Sadie, the bosom from hell. She will smother you. Study the writings of Leo Rosten and Isaac Bashevis Singer, not to mention Sholem Aleichem. Come to appreciate the art of Marc Chagall and Ben Shawn. Get a Jackie Mason record. Fiddler on the Roof you should see twice. The rest you can get from your new brother-in-law. L chaim and mazel tov. |
