Does the one you want act like they don't want you? Is it real or are you imagining it?

When people tell me about the behavior patterns of their partner, and then ask if I think they are trying to leave, I am amazed at the signs they refuse to see.

Here are seven signs that your love interest may be dumping you:

* Shorter phone calls.

Does your love want to end your phone calls sooner than usual? Is it happening more and more? When someone knows they want to end a relationship but haven't yet done it, they will not stay on the phone.

* Distance.

Does he or she go away to visit other people or places more than they used to? Or have they "gone away" by not listening to you as much as they once did? When someone no longer asks questions and puts distance between you...emotional and physical...this indicates they want to leave.

* No future talk.

If he or she no longer wants to make plans for the future, including what you might be doing for the weekend, they are not planning a "future" with you in mind.

* Needing space.

When someone says, "I need my space," these are more than just words.

* Not knowing where they are.

If you are often wondering where your love interest is and how they are spending their time, and you have to ask them, they obviously are avoiding you.

* The direction of their toes.

Body language speaks louder than words. If your love is talking to you but not facing you; if their toes and heart are pointing in another direction other than towards you, pay attention.

* Non-communicative.

If your partner used to share and now they don't; if they used to be interested in your day and now they don't call you to find out how you are or how it went; and if their answers are so brief, you can't feel a part of their life, they want out.

If the above seven signs exist in your relationship, it is time to have the hard conversation with your love. Ask them what they want in your relationship. If they turn that question into, "Well, what do you want?" they are waiting for you to do the breaking up.

Tell them it doesn't work for you anymore. But most of all, remind yourself that you deserve a real relationship, not an illusion. And then, get some help to discover all the good and great things about you that you might have forgotten or may have never known.

You aren't being dumped. You are being given a wakeup call that there is something more for you out there.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation